Be Let Go

by Marigo Farr

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released March 1, 2014

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Marigo Farr Burlington, Vermont

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Track Name: Be Let Go
Now that the city and I are friends,
can we sip a simple drink
and end up in our beds
with nothing left to think—
with the hope we’ll be let go?

I know my pain runs deep, deeper than I’ll look,
so it tied itself to you, whom I hardly even know,
I hardly even know.

Well the pain’s in the wrong room,
where you’re draped across my things,
with that chin up to my face--
it’s daring me to do who knows what,
who knows what, who knows what.

I can search a house for the perfect hiding place,
but everywhere I look it’s a room with you.

Well we kissed for just too long
and went just beyond our names.
And now a simple thread
has turned into a game
where we cannot be let go.

So as different as we seem, we must share something too—
like a timid little heart, once or twice left out, hiding ’neath our hair.

Well I know your pain runs deep, deeper than you’ll look.
So it tied your hands to strings—moving them towards
people’s hearts, people’s hearts, people’s hearts.

What if we’re the same and I’ll never be let go?
If we’re too much the same I’ll never be let go.

Please be colder, still.
Then, I’ll know you’re not like me.
And I’ll throw my pain to the air outside
where it really ought to be, it really ought to be.

If we’re too much the same I’ll never be let go.
Track Name: 17 Words
Oh well I saw what I saw what I saw what I saw.
From my eye in the ceiling above us,
your hands—they were asking for more.
From my ear in the wall where we fell,
your heart was a-roar.

Oh well I know what I know what I know what I know--
that a kiss is just friction and air
and it’s not yours or mine to retrieve.
Come stop me so I don’t try
Come stop me so I don’t try.

I’ve got 17 words for your one.
17 words for your one.
And they line up like birds in my sleep.

Oh well I heard what I heard what I heard about you--
that you’re dangerous and out for the hunt
and I’m just a sweet little lamb.
And I’d been feeling left out for too long on this land.

But when I am strong, when I’m finally strong in this town,
I’m planning to make something big, as big as my loving can be.
And whether or not you’re a part will mean nothing to me.

And oh well I know what I know.
Track Name: Creep, Little Creepers
Creep little creepers around my street.
They pull at my thoughts with their hands and their feet.
And they open the door when I’m asleep,
though I’ve blocked it off with a mirror and a seat.

God, God I want to stay.

Down to the cellar they go for a drink
to stir up old pains and dig deep into me.
Then they open the door to tug at my feet
but just one floor above sings the home I will keep.

My heart beats like a good dog, saying this can still be mine.

Creep little creepers around my street,
though I’ve put up the shelves and laid rugs at our feet.
Well, they pull it all out from under me,
so I’m stuck in the air with my things in the trees.

God, God I want to land.

A morning at home like a kiss in the air.
The baby is sleeping so sweet by my side.
And I know papa’s waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
And it’s my choice to keep this for as long as I care.
It’s my choice to keep this for as long as I care.

God, God I want to stay.

My heart beats like a good dog, saying this can still be mine.
My heart beats like a good dog, saying this can still be mine.
Track Name: Belly
Here, with the moon, you could even be my love.
I can dream that the space for me is deep.
The leaves are turning gold.
So will we, so will we.

Safe, in my songs, I can heal from our short run.
But if the owl could send these words into
the belly of your heart,
you’d feel them strong and come apart.

You’d send the worries home
and give me back my one.
Surely you’ll allow us our sacred love.

Save me a sight of that wild tree we claimed.
Save me a part of that wild me we made.
That time was in love even though it never told.

Friend, do I forgive?
Can we hold and can we keep, keep your arms
for a moment as I part?
You’ll sign your name in love
though love lives to be said.
Track Name: Split
Each day is marked by us now.
Each day weaves yours with mine.
The hours, the milk in the jar—
turning to cream as we turn.

The city is happy when shared.
And I am happy when shared.
But is your sweetness mine to feel?
Is mine, mine to give?
How can I know if I’m well,
when you’re lovely and holding me now?

I can give my heart but it’s split at the core.
So if you’re able to keep it, you’ll get just one half.

The lake is the color of my dream.
Like one big watery sky.
Well, it’s more serene than my mind.
But maybe we’re willing to try.

The city is happy when shared.
And I am happy when shared.
You fill what is wanting to be there.
Even just strangers with love.
But how can I know if I’m well,
when you’re lovely and holding me now?
Track Name: Soon, Soon
When will you know your neighbors?
Soon, soon, soon as I’m dressed,
I’ll be out the door and right on your porch.
And I’ll learn more names than my toes.
And who will stick, nobody knows.

When will you see the capital?
Well, teach me the reasons to fight
and I’ll march like I’ve been here all my life.
If you take my hand as we talk,
then I will listen even better.

Soon, soon.

When will you spy a moose?
Soon, soon, to the kingdom we go.
I’ll get lost with you in a desert of snow.
And we’ll hush hush as we follows its tracks.
But who am I kidding? I know nothing of that.

When will you change those tires?
Well, show me a Burlington snow.
Or is winter a thing of the past?
I want to be deep, deep in the thickest of white,
and find you on a blanketed night.

Will you get a nickname?
Soon, soon, soon as we’ve danced.
It’ll roll off your tongue as we spin.
And it’ll stick, stay, fall into place,
and you’ll lift my heart when you say it.

When will you stop counting?
Well, I’m scared that the state is too small—
a quarter of the size of the borough I’m from.
But really, did I talk to them all?
Or did I wish that my city was small?
Track Name: Beehive
Once our house was full
and there were people in the rooms,
our parlor floor a beehive,
the neighborhood a womb.
And someone was always an inch from pulling you in.
Oh I can’t think of a time when you were adrift.

When everything went dull, on your side of the wall,
I know your furry animals were whispering alone.
“When did your playmate get so big,
big enough to leave what you two loved?”

But either way…
Someone was always an inch from pulling you in.
Oh, I can’t think of a time when you were adrift.
There were no inches that we could have missed.

Oh my little one, you were the last to come along.
I wish we could have kept it all as colorful as the start.
But please don’t spend your time
thinking nothing matters if it’s gone.

Cause someone was always an inch from pulling you in.
Oh, I can’t think of a time when you were adrift.
There were no inches that we could have missed.

Oh my little one, don’t you ever, ever doubt.
Track Name: Biggest Thought
In places you might love,
turn the motor off and stay,
as the sun begins to sit.
Dip into her purple sea,
her soft large mystery.

If there’s a lovely shark,
that wants me more than we can fix,
then that is how I’d go.
I go where my heart is
and not where my heart denies.

When I emerge,
the earth is spinning just the same.
And I’ve been cupped by the sea.
I go where my joy goes
and not where my heart denies.

Keep at bay my biggest thought.
Your daughter’s comin’ ’round the helm.
Track Name: In Purple Tone
Hold a little lyric in your head
and I’ll come through.
In purple tone, in mellow blue,
in evening red, I’ll give this song to you.
And we’ll do things right.

All I want is time with you.

When the sun is low and you hold me tight,
my thoughts will hum all through the mellow night.
And we’ll be all right.

Maybe in a face I see today, you’ll come through.
If the sun is low, and I’m squinting right,
baby you’ll appear with arms all open wide.
With smile all open wide.

Once in a while, some time in a while,
in purple tone.
Track Name: Love Takes So Long
Love takes so long.
It can’t find it’s way up the coast.
But I know what she’d say,
“Just close every eye and sleep.”
I call and call and call, but no.
The storm got too large and people are stuck.
Your words all got lost in the branches of trees
as the river rushed on to do as he pleased.

Love takes so long,
but then it appears like it’s never been gone.
Like it’s never been.
Baby, how long has it been
since your mother’s arms?
Well, it feels like a lifetime ago.
Have we lived that long?

Love takes so long, longer to grow than I’d hoped.
But sweeter than you can believe.
So strong, strong winds, leave her be.

I call and call and call, but no.
The storm got too large and people are stuck.
Your words all got lost in the branches of trees
as they came down the river, headed for me.

Sweeter than you can believe.
So strong, strong winds, leave her be.
Track Name: If I Want Her
You don’t have to try so hard.
You don’t have to hold your breath.
If you want me, if you want.

You don’t have to dress so fine
or hope to make your people laugh.
Cuz I’ll see who is who.
I’ll see right into you, either way.

You don’t have to fly so long
or dig down in the earth too far.
Cuz I’ll be in the middle.
I’ll be in the middle of it all.
Track Name: Leagues Apart
I remembered you today when I could not say your name.
And that’s how bodies tell us the things we will not hear.
A thought is like a seed that grows into a stone.
And this is how I’m missing—heavier as I go, go.

We’re many leagues apart and many leagues within.
But somewhere deep inside we’re perfectly like then
with memories too sweet to hear again.

When I fall asleep so far, my mind brings me so close.
To a glowing yellow home that pulls me in, hello, hello.
Every love is real and we miss them all like one.
But some melt into water and some remain a stone.

Backwards through this year and it’s you, my family.
But now the warmth is slipping and it’s too cold to sleep.
The things I will not hear, ’till someone touches me.
When the coals rise to my throat and bring me down to grieve.
Track Name: To The Sea-i-go
Is there anywhere else, in our god’s well-crafted land,
where all my weight is off again, where all my weight is off?
I conceived of soaring high but that’s someone else place—
for my name comes from the other, my name is from the sea.
It is far, it is far, it is far from me.

To the sea I go,
to the island I should know,
where strangers say my name.
And in their hands I’m back in mine.

They left for Saint Martin—
just an island in their minds.
And in my mother’s belly
the sea became my name.
Well, hello, my flippery feet—
you have turned your noses south.
Do you think we’re on a journey
to where everyone’s been but me?
Is it far? Is it far? Is it far from me?
Track Name: Our Eyes Closed
You were just like the old days in a dream for two.
We stole to the hillside just to see what we’d do.
In a dream, you are shadowed in trees.
But somewhere between, there’s a whisper for me.

How’d my heart get so willing
to hold a place for your eye?
If I were wiser a woman I’d
write you a smaller part.

In a sound, you’ve said what you mean.
You’re longing for this much, this much of me
For this—what we’d give up for this.
What becomes of our lovers if we let this kiss?
Would you be close again?

There’s a touch and you’re pulling me in.
I think the devil’s within me as I touch your skin.
If we keep our eyes closed, maybe they won’t see.
But I can hear them below us
shouting, “You’ve been fools!”

How’d my heart get so willing
to let you play in its rooms?
It’s forgotten the state you left them in.

For this—what we’d give up for this.
Track Name: Undone
When it’s time, a book will open its skin—
gently as a leaf along the spine.
It will ask for all our eyes—
hoping to be seen undone.
I’d hoped we’d be willing to be read.
But it takes more than a hope to hold your eyes.

We seem to be here but our seams are all sealed up tight.
Maybe we were too green when we came into loving that night.

When it’s ripe, a fruit will fall from its sill—
bursting bright and red across the floor.
It will take away our will,
and anything that kept us in our skins.
I thought we would carry this around.
But it takes too much attention to keep us along.

If we were ripe, we would burst from the sill.
And there would be no labor to being loved.
I would feel you with me.
And I’d just close my eyes, undone.
Willing to be seen, undone.
Hoping to be seen, undone.